It has been a while since I have written a blog post, almost a year in fact. It has not been the best year for me. If you follow me you will know that I lost my husband in February. I have found that my creativity and my YouTube channel have been very therapeutic for me. I have also found journalling really helpful as well. So I thought I would start writing a blog again.
I was, well I am really dreading Christmas. Ed loved Christmas, he always had time off work and really enjoyed all the preparations, getting the house all decorated and planning our meals. We always had our boys with us, in the past 5 years his mum was also here and sometimes his sister and husband would come.
Last Christmas was not the happiest. We knew it was Ed's last and at this moment last year we didn't actually think he would make it to Christmas. He was in a hospital bed in the lounge and was being looked after my me with the help of 4 carer visits a day. He was so poorly he was being nursed in bed as he no longer had the strength to stand or walk. He was wasting away before our very eyes. Cancer is cruel.
I have decided to complete a December Daily. I am using the Christmas Journal I made for Ed a few years ago. I had made for him to plan Christmas, I thought he could put recipes and meal planning and shopping lists etc in it. He used to always worry that things would not be done in time. I thought it would help him and also quite fun to add to it every year. He didn't want to write in it as he said it was too beautiful and didn't want to spoil it.
So when I found it I thought I could use it to add memories of happy christmases we have shared over the last 37 years we had together. My idea is that by doing this every day I will be able to reprogram my brain into looking forward Christmas. I am not putting up any decorations, we had the tree up until after Ed died because he did not want it taken down in January. So it was up until the end of February, I think that is enough for this year. I will wait and see how I feel about next year.
I have shared 8 days now on my channel so far. I will link the first one below for you. Click here
Thank you for ready, I will share again when I feel like it.
Cheers
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